giggles

Being a mom to a child with special needs is a lot of work. I will be the first one to say that it's not always easy and there are days I struggle. There are so many unknowns raising a child with Down syndrome and I often finding myself thinking about the future and wondering if Malachi will be living at home, if he will be working, will he be in college or driving? Its so easy for me to go down the path of wonder and unknown and when I got down that path I get nervous, scared and question why Malachi had to be born with Down syndrome and that his life would be so much easier without it. Once I start down that path, its very difficult to find my way out. My feet get stuck in the weeds and my hair gets stuck on the branches. Its not a pretty path, yet I go down it often. I am human and I struggle with thinking of the future or i compare him to typically developing kids and get sad that he is so far behind. I have moments of wishing he was crawling or walking and wishing he could communicate verbally with me. I even find myself looking at other children with Down syndrome and wishing he would be doing what they are doing. I don't think I am the only one who struggles with these things, I think if we all look at our own life and situations you will find similarities to mine. God called Josh and I to be Malachi's parents and He never said it was going to be easy but those difficult times make us stronger as we lean on Christ to take our fears. And then I have a day like today. Malachi was in an amazing mood (well most of the day) and I got to see lots of smiles and hear lots of giggles!!! I watched him play with play dough and roll around on the floor with his toys and I couldn't help but remember back 6 months ago when he wasn't doing any of this. Malachi may have Down syndrome and his future may be unknown but he is the joy of my life and a true inspiration to us all. I will try my best to stay off that path of the unknown and focus on the millions of opportunities Malachi will have. I can't wait to see him succeed and flourish no matter what setting he is in!!