I have been busy cleaning, baking, shopping and cooking in preparation for tomorrow. We have a house full of people coming over to celebrate Mother's day and I want everything to be perfect! For those that know me, I get stressed easily, especially when there is people depending on me for something. This is not one of me best traits, I know this but despite my best effort to change, I almost always revert back to my crazy self. In the midst of list making and bickering with my husband I realized what today it. For many it's just another day, but for us it's special. The day before Mother's Day is always Birth mother's Day! How could I have forgotten? Rather than beating myself up about it, I decided to take time for my preparing, to write about how much my children's Birth Mothers mean to us!
When I think about the definition of courage, I think of Eli's birth mom. Although we have only met her once, her gentle demeanor, soft words and abundant tears spoke to my heart. I will remember our meeting at Panara forever. We walked in with our adoption agent, photo album full of pictures (that expressed the love of our entire family) and a heart aching for these strangers. The decision they were about to make was so monumental I can only imagine the weight on their shoulders. Soon after getting settled, away from others, Eli's birth parents walked in. I knew within seconds that his birth parents loved him more than words could express. We talked about our family, our jobs, our decision to adopt kids with Down syndrome. We asked questions, they asked questions and we all cried. At the end of our meeting, Eli's birth parents decided that they wanted us to raise him. They went out to the car and brought in bags of Eli's belongings, saying "we want him to have his things." My heart broke in a million pieces. The pain in those words were very apparent even though they knew what they were doing was the right decision for them. A week later we brought Eli home. The amount of gratitude we have can never be expressed enough. Because of her sacrifice, I am able to celebrate Mother's Day tomorrow. Because of her courage, Elijah is thriving and because of her love, we are able to love our son. Elijah will never fully understand how blessed he is to have the unconditional love of 2 mommies!
I think about Malachi's birth mom often. He came to our family through foster care and while I can't tell the specifics on why was was taken from his mom, I can tell you that he can from an unfit mother. I can only guess how her heart broke when she got the news that she would not be leaving the hospital with him. I've never met her, but I know she loved him. A mother always loves their child, regardless of her ability to care for them. Her inability to parent, gave me a chance to and for that I am thankful. I do not agree with her choices in life, but I am soooo thankful she CHOOSE to have Malachi. Life would not be the same without him!
So thank you to all the Birth moms out there, who have given us the chance to be moms's! We don't say thank you nearly enough!!!!! Happy Birth Mother's Day to you!!!!