So what if?

Consider this senario with me...

A husband and wife gather their family together to tell them the good news. After years of trying they are finally pregnant! Their family is bursting with joy, they know this has been a long journey. Soon after the announcement the questions begin...

"how far along are you? When are you due? How are you going to fit in that small house? Do you know the gender?"

Their responses are typical...


You make think this is silly, perhaps it is. I was talking to a friend the other day who is currently pregnant with her first child. They had been trying for a while and finally they got to announce that she was, in fact, pregnant. I have never gotten to pee on the pregger stick or announce to the world that I was carrying a new life in my bellie but I am the mom to two amazing boys I have felt the joy in bringing them home for the first time and the excitement in introducing them to our family.

Back to my friend...

I was around her recently when someone asked if she wanted a girl or a boy...her response? "it doesn't matter as long as he or she is healthy."

I've heard it a million times and I'm sure you have too. At the time I didn't give it a second thought, after all isn't that what every mom hopes for? But it didn't take long for me to think...but what if that joy as days comes when you get to meet your child and you find out that they are not healthy? What happens then?

Our situation is different. We adopted both boys knowing that they were "not healthy", down syndrome, heart conditions, prematurity...the list really does go on and on. All those things we knew about...

About a year an a half into motherhood I was taught an invaluable lesson when we found out Malachi had a stroke and his further diagnosis of moyamoya. I learned that at any second your life can change. I could deal with all those things listed on the adoption papers, but a stroke? Brain surgery? I didn't sign up for that. As Josh and I sat in the er room holding Malachi worrying about all the what it's we had a discussion. Through our sobbing, we decided that no matter what happened our hopes and dreams for Malachi would not change. He was alive and at the end of the day, that's all that mattered.

So what do you want, a boy or a girl? I'll tell you what I would want...a baby who will make this world a better place just for being born. A baby that will teach us the meaning of life is more than just getting from point a to point b. That's the kind of baby I would want, any baby healthy or not will do just that. I'm thankful for my children even though they were not born healthy and my dreams for them are to grow up to be the best they can possibly be!