January 30, 2009

This is a day that we will forever remember, January 30, 2009, the day Malachi under went his corrective heart surgery. One year ago, Malachi had a broken heart, missing a mitrial valve and a complete AV canal. We  had been waiting for weeks for the day and it was finally here. They wisked him back, got him to sleep, an A-line in, an IV in, intubated him and hooked him up on bi-pass. His delicate little heart stopped beating. The surgeon opened his chest and began to work on a small broken heart. Dr. P first stitched gortex patches to each hole, them constructed a perfect valve from Malachi's own tissue. After 3 hours, Malachi had a fully functioning heart and he slowly began to wake up to the first day of his new normal. I remember a feeling of peace overcome my entire body as I walked into room 512. He was hooked up to so much, his tiny little body covered in tape, leads, and monitors, but he was alive, healthy and for the first time in his life he didn't have to fight to breath or cry. I have tears streaming down my face, just like I did at this exact moment a year ago.

Today Malachi is off every single one of his heart medications. We only have to see the cardiologist every six months and his heart is fully repaired, with not even a leak! We are in awe of the gift we were all give a year ago. Happy heart Day Malachi!!!!!!

Not even a week

Oh my. Little Eli sure has moved in with a bang. I took him to our pediatrician on Wed. It was the first time she has ever seen him. We went through all the medical things Eli has going on and then proceeded to get referrals to a genetics consular, cardiologist, nephrologist (kidney doc) and to get  labs drawn. We went down stairs right away and had some blood drawn. After we got his labs drawn we went home. Around 6:30 I got a voice mail on my phone from the nurse saying Eli's potassium was high and we needed to get him to prompt care to be evaluated. Ugh. We took him right away and they told us that he needed to go to the ER. Off we went. We got to the er and the got more blood, it was still high, so they decided to transfer us to another hospital with a better peds. department. I got to ride in the ambulance with Eli while Josh followed. While en route they gave Eli meds. to lower his potassium (apparently high potassium can cause the heart to stop beating). We got to the new hospital and they did another blood test, his potassium was still high so they gave him another dose of medication. The next morning his potassium was to low, so they had to give him more. Ugh, its such a fine line with heart babies. They were suspecting he was in renal failure and thus the reason for high potassium. Ultrasound came in and did a renal study which looked okay. They switched his formula to Similac 60/40 which is a low mineral formula and scheduled a VCUG for today. Eli had that at 8:30 am. The results came back perfect there was no urinary reflux. Phew. The doc came in and said that they had ruled out every other possibility so she thought the blood had just been hemalized. All that to tell us the red blood cells were popped during withdraw? We are home now. Eli is playing with a rattle, Malachi is putting his fishies into the fish tank, josh is grading papers and I am blogging. Its good to be home.

Our hospital visit was well worth it. I got to meet another amazing angel with Ds. She is a day older than Eli and will be having her corrective heart surgery next month. There was romance in the air on the 3rd floor!! I am excited to welcome another mom into our special club!!!

more pics!

Eli is doing great! Look at him holding his head up!! A few of you have asked if he has down syndrome, and the answer is yes!! He will also be needing heart surgery, I'm going to try to get him into our Cardiologist this week to get some more answer on that. The NG tube supplements what he is to tired to drink form the bottle. Our goal is to get him off of the NG tube during the day an only use it at night, we will see how quickly this happens.  Other than that he is a healthy little man. He has absolutely stolen my heart (and many others).

 I have lots more pics that I will try to post later!!

First night

Well we have officially survived our first night at home with 2 children under 2. It was a success, almost to good to be true! First, let me tell you about sweet, sweet Eli. He is a complete joy!! He looks around, tracks objects, smiles, bats at toys and is content swinging in the swing.  We have a lot of work to do on his sucking, he can barley finish a 2 oz bottle, hence the reason for the NG tube. We are going to be working with him so he can feed all day on a bottle and the just use the ng tube at night. Got any tricks for sucking? We never had the issue with Malachi. Eli is 7lbs 10oz at 10 weeks old, hes a little guy but oh so cute!! Its hard not to just hold him all day!!

Last night Malachi went to be around 9 and Eli finally feel asleep around 10 (he was WIDE awake for 5-10). Both boys slept through the night which is AMAZING!! I even said to Josh "this is easy" I think I might have jinxed myself!! We will see how it goes the next few nights. The NG tube is WONDERFUL at night! We just set the pump to feed every 3 house, put enough milk in the bag and hook it up. I did learn this morning that he can not be moved after he eats or he will loose everything! He is currently hooked up o the pump getting a feed to cover what he lost, he is skin and bones, we need to thickin him up a bit!! Well I am off to shower and get ready for visitors!!

Introducing...

We are happy to introduce the newest addition to our family....ELIJAH!

Im going to be a mom of 2 boys under 2. I can't believe it!

And the winner is...

We have been grueling over what to name the baby, we have had list after list and tonight we have decided on a winner. I am excited to announce that our sons name is going to be.....Elijah!

Last night we met the birth parents. They are simply amazing and quit possibly the strongest people I have ever met. I can't even fathom how hard this decision is for them. They were extremely friendly and we hit it off right away. Josh and I talked about our backgrounds and what led us to adoption. They talked about what events led them to choose adoption and their wishes for contact in the future. It was very emotional. They are really concerned about heart surgery and want updates throughout on his progress. I truly believe they love him with all their hearts and feel this is the best decision for him and I admire that, As much as I dont understand it.

Today I had to scramble to find a pump for Eli's ng feeds (it sound like he jsut has them at night, were gonna see about getting him off of it completely) . I found out we had to have one before they would place him with us, but insurance doesn't start until friday. Needless to say our worrying was for nothing. We currently have a pump, tubing, bags and a IV stand in our house. We found an amazing supply company who rushed it all over right away. We are ready for friday, well almost. The house is still a mess but i dont have time to worry about it. Tomorrow Malachi and I head to Madison to see the eye specialist. I am excited to finally get some answers I feel comfortable with. However I have to drive there alone, which make me nervous, especially since we are supposed to have freezing rain all night tonight.

Well im mentally and physically exhausted which means its time for bed.

Ready, set....

Ready,Set.....Dough (as Malachi wouls say!) We are frantically running around getting ready for the arrival of baby number 2 this Friday. As I sit and type this there is a cute pack and play directly in front of me, that will soon protect baby #2 from the curious hands of Malachi. Nursery #2 is painted and ready for furniture to be moved in. There are clothes hanging in the closet that have been washed, all ready for a sweet boy to get snuggly in them. We are excited, but feeling overwhelmed. There has been so much done, but we still have so much to do before Friday.Josh has meetings late each night this week, and I have to squeeze a day in at the Madison Children's Hospital for Malachi's much anticipated eye appt. with the specialist. I also have to fit in a trip to baby #2's pediatrician's office to learn how to put in a NG tube, and tonight we are meeting the birth parents.

I would love to write more, but there is no time. Malachi and I are headed to Gigi's playhouse to let all our friends know, there will be another chromosomaley enhanced child being welcomed into the gigi's family!

Yes

Yes the picture below is true, Malachi is going to be the big brother to a sweet baby boy!!! We found out late Friday night that the family had selected us to raise their little boy. The excitement is still causing me to have the shakes! I dont have a ton of time to write, but it looks like we will be meeting the birth parents on Tuesday this coming week, and be able to bring our new son home on Friday!!!  We have been hurrying around trying to get things cleaned, a room put together, things bought....its been crazy. Im going to be a mom of two, and that is still so surreal! I'll write more later tonight! But now, its off the church to worship the One who made this all happen!!

ahhh...

Nesting?

Still no word. I am trying to wait (trying being the key word) patiently, but it is so difficult. How do you try to stay calm about a decision that could potentially change our life? Im not sure if you can, but I am trying. Today I found myself constantly online checking my e-mail and I never got out of arms reach of the phone. The bad news is that if we don't hear anything today, we are going to have to wait all the way to tuesday. (monday is a holiday and the agencys are closed.) There are still 2 hours left in the work day, Im holding out hope.

With all of this wonder going on I found myself nesting today! Yikes. I have been frantically cleaning the house just in case. But it hasn't been just the basic cleaning, I've been wiping down doors, cupboards and baseboards. I've organized the pantry, cabinets and closets. I also washed the floor in the kitchen, entry way and all 3 bathrooms. What has gotten into me? I want the house to be 100% clean and ready if we get the call, but all this cleaning? It's so not like me. I would rather be spending my time playing and reading with my son, not today, I am a woman on a mission.

One more thing before I get back to cleaning. I have to brag about Malachi for a min. He is sooo stinking smart. Josh and I have been getting better about using casual sign language when we speak to him. Just the basics, block, cookie, book, you get it. So I was reading a book on the floor last night with Malachi and I signed book. And then he signed it back. I thought for sure it was a fluke, so I asked him to show me book, and he did it again. I kept reading and got to a part about a baby, so I signed baby. Then he did it. Later on I signed up, and he copied me. I was and am amazed at how quickly he is picking up these signs. I'll be honest, I started to cry this morning when he did them for me again. I just love that little guy so much, he finds a new way to melt my heart every day! I am one lucky momma to have such a wonderful little prince! I will rest in the simple fact.

1 to 2

YIKES! I spoke with our case worker this morning and the birth parents of the baby are hoping to make their decision this week!! We could go from 1 child to 2 in a matter of days!!! I am so very excited, but nervous at the same time. The birth parents think we would be a wonderful family and provide him a loving home, but they also feel the other family is very qualified. It could really go either way at this point. PLEASE, continue to pray for them as they make their decision, i can only imagine how difficult their decision must be. I will be sure to let you know when we find anything out!!

Here is our list of final names...
Nolan
Finn
Cullen
Keaton

These are a few of our...

FAVORITE THINGS...

So I thought I would do a quick post on some of our favorite things. Here they are in no particular order.

1. Nike Little Pico shoes. Our Pt suggested these shoes because they are a perfect fit for little kids who have orthotics. They come in wide sizes and have plenty of room in the toes. We LOVE them.

2. Funny faces books by Rodger Priddy. Malachi LOVES these books. They have nice simple, big and bright pictures for kiddos with poor vision. The pages are made of cardboard which makes for easy turning and they are fun rhyming stories. Definitely invest in these, Im sure your kids will love them too!

3. Fischer Price Roll-a-rounds Swirlin surprise Gumball Machine. This toy was suggested to us by Malachi's PT. We use it all the time. It was great for use when Malachi was learning how to put things in, now we use it to coax him to crawl up the steps and to practice getting up into standing. It plays fun music and lights up when you push the button.  It also helps with tracking.

4. Simple Saline, what can I say. This is not one of Malachi's favorite things, but I sure do love it. In these nasty winter months, booger noses are inevitable. This wonder spray helps break up the congestion so daddy can wipe it away (or suck it out if we are really feeling lucky.) We go through a lot of this!

5. Munchkin straw sippy cups, with soy milk. Malachi will only drink from this cup (a gift from my mom and dad this Christmas). It has a valve which prevents major leakage. They come in fun colors and are relatively inexpensive. Because Malachi has a dairy allergy, he like his cup filled with vanilla or chocolate soy milk (as you can tell by this  almost empty cup).

6. And lastly, Malachi. His sweet smiles and wet kisses melt my heart. He is growing up way to fast and is learning to walk with a push toy (yikes). My favorite thing is getting to spend my entire day playing, singing, dancing and snuggling with this sweet baby toddler (He will always be my baby, even when he is a snotty teenager). If you dont have one of these extra special kids, I suggest you run out to the nearest adoption agency and get your name on the list, because they are the best kids EVER!! (in my humble opinion.) And who can disagree with this adorable face?

Untitled...

You may have noticed that I took my last post down. 2010 is going to be a different kind of year for me. For to long I have worried about making people happy. I tried so hard to be liked and loved. I took EVERYTHING personally and was often left feeling "less than". I had been like that my entire life, trying to live up to the standard of my peers, family and friends. It was no way to live. I decided things needed to change. I want my life, my entire life, to be a reflection of Christs love. I want to be the body, going and doing, all along reflecting back to Christ as my all in all. I want every decision made to be Christs will for my life. The only person I will worry about pleasing is Him, His opinion is the only one that matters at the end of the day. This is going to be difficult for me, I'll be honest. My happiness will no longer lie in other people control. I will not worry about what he said or she said, wether their statements we direct or indirectly  related to me. I will no longer feel less than, people with a education or the person who has more stuff, friends, money or popularity. I don't deserve the things I have now, my house, car, the things in it, but God so graciously gave it all to me. I will choose the be thankful, for the good, the bad and the ugly. All along, I will love, unconditionally. I will be open to every opportunity, willing to go when called and not worry about what people have to say about it. And today I start and it feels good.

We got an email back about the baby. It looks like the birth family has narrowed it down to 2 family. We have a 50/50 chance. The birth parents will be meeting to go over our portfolio today or tomorrow (weather permitting), they will be given the opportunity to ask additional questions. They have a week to make their final decision (could be quicker, but shouldn't be to much longer). When I read the email, my heart broke. I was so wrapped up in the excitement of possibly having another child, the joys that he would bring and the wonderful home we could give him. Never did I stop to think about his birth parents. Just another example of my selfish ways. The HUGE decision they are about to make is not an easy one, Im sure. So I am going to ask you all to stop crossing your body parts and stop praying...for us. Rather pray for the birth parents, for their big decision. Let them feel God's loving arms around them, to comfort them through this process. Pray that their decision can be made and that they feel content with their decision. Pray that they stop and try to enjoy this process, adoption is a BEAUTIFUL thing. And pray for both perspective families that they/we have gracious hearts, patience minds and humble attitudes. We will be thankful, no matter what the outcome!

One last thing. To all of you who have read this blog and ever been offended or hurt, I am sorry. I am not perfect, I will make mistakes, lots of them. I am sorry, truly sorry. I am not good at saying sorry, I am working on it. Please bare with me, as we (God and I), work on changing me!

I told myself...

It's 2010! Wow, where did 2009 go? It seems like just yesterday we were experiencing our first Christmas with Malachi, followed by heart surgery, then therapy started, and we were consumed by doctor appointments and medications. I dint have time to relax, I didn't dislike how busy we were, but I was frazzled. I am more than excited to welcome 2010, thankful that things with Malachi has slowed down and we can focus on being a family and starting new traditions.

Day one of 2010 is starting differently than I have expected, I am full to the gills of anticipation and excitement as we wait for "the call." I am finding it difficult to focus on anything other than this possible adoption. My mind is going everywhere as I mentally try to prepare for another child and at the same time prepare for a let down. I am excited but at the same time I am sad. I told myself not to get excited. I told myself not to prepare and just leave it up to god. I told myself, just like the other possible adoptions we have come across this past year, that if it's supposed to happen it will. This one is different. I've been looking online at double strollers and trying to figure out which one we will pick. I've been thinking about the nursery and what decor to go with. I went through Malachi's clothing and pulled out all the newborn stuff, just in case. I told myself I wouldn't do this...but Im doing it anyways. I feel like my heart is fully invested in this child and we don't even know if he will be ours. And now, with all our paperwork complete, we wait. Wait for the birth mom to make her decision and waiting is the HARDEST thing. I keep questioning, "were the pictures we sent good ones? Did our letter touch her heart? What about the other families?" We have no clue when she will make her decision. Please, please please continue to pray. Pray for the birth mom who has to make this difficult decision, pray for the baby boy who is in limbo as he waits to be united with his forever family. Pray for all families involved as we wait for the decision and Pray that we accept, humbly, whatever decision is made.