It's always there. Just sitting in the corner waiting to rear it's ugly head. Looming, like a thick fog.
I'm having a difficult day. I'm terrified. I am obsessively checking and re-checking. It's there, I know it is. I can't see it and what's even worse than that is, I can do nothing about it.
Moyamoya sucks. Can I give it back?
I wish I could could fix it all. I wish I could return Malachi's hand function so he wouldn't get so frustrated. I wish I could say he would never have another stroke. I wish he didn't have to have MAJOR surgery...twice.
It's not fair. But we were still chosen. He was chosen. I will make the best of this. Most of the time. But today, I just need to be angry. Tomorrow, I will go on fighting.