Thursday, February 2, 2012

3 years ago

This blog was started 3 years ago to keep our family and friends informed of the latest news. We were just starting our journey to become foster parents. We had no freaking idea the journey we were about to take but we were ready, or so we though. Malachi came into our lives like a flash. For moths we prayed for him while he was fighting for his life in a NICU 2 hours away. We cried, worried, hoped and dreamed for him. What would life be life with a baby and a baby with special needs at that? We were terrified but so ready to hold him and kiss his sweet little cheeks. At our first meeting I fell head over heels in love with him. His little body fit perfectly in my arms, his big brown eyes melted my heart and his sweet hands tugged on my very soul. He was my son and at that very moment I knew that no matter what lay ahead I was going to be by his side every day of his life.

Soon we were able to bring him home and let me tell you the tears that filled my eyes on that drive home were like none I've ever experienced. FINALLY I had my son in the back seat. The son that I prayed for, cried for, hoped for and loved with every fiber of my being was coming home. It's a time I think back to often. No I didn't carry Malachi in my tummy, no I didn't get to bond with him like a newborn does with their mom and no I was not legally allowed to claim him as my son but I knew he was here to stay forever. I trusted that God would make that happen. Malachi has NEVER been anything other than my son, never...not once.

The past 3 years have been full of challenges, struggles and fear's so indescribable but it has also been full of hope, laughter and love. For the past 3 years I have dreamed about what is going to take place tomorrow at 12:15pm. I've played it out in my dreams, I've spoke about it with my husband and close friends and now my dreams are coming true...I'm still in shock.

Tomorrow we are going to adoption court and Malachi will officially become ours. No more home visits, background checks, travel consents, surgery approval from the state. As of tomorrow I am legally him mom and can make every decision for him. I can sign paperwork as him mother. I can change his name at his doctors offices and at school (no, legally his name is not Malachi, well not until tomorrow)...tomorrow makes it official even though I have been his mom always.

My parents, brother and best friends will be joining us in the court room as the judge signs the final paper. Together we will witness the end to a very long journey and together we will celebrate crossing the finish line together! I am so freaking excited!

Tomorrow Malachi will be ours...forever and ever. And that is the most awesome happily ever after I have ever experienced!