MRSA?

Elijah went to the pediatrician today for a pre-op exam (tubes in, adenoids out on May 9th) and I expected everything to go normal. HAhahAHA. I was mistaken. As we were heading out of the exam room I remember I wanted ask Dr. M about his diaper rash that has not been getting any better. He has had this before, she give him special cream and bam its going in a day or 2. She decided she wanted to take a peek and boy am I glad she did. It turns out my little man "probably" has MRSA!!! Where he got it from and how the heck it ended up on his man giblets are beyond me. They took at culture and started him on general antibiotics once the results come back we will decide the best medication to clear it up. Good news however, he is cleared for surgery and he gets out of therapy for a few weeks! 

Daddy told him a story about a man who had MRSA in his legs and he had to get them amputated. Eli is genuinely concerned about him manhood. 

In addition to the great MRSA epidemic of 2012, the weather has been freakishly nice here in northern Illinois! Well not this week, or last week but we did have a few 80 degree days a few weeks ago! We made the most of it taking long walks in our summers finest duds! There is nothing cuter than chunky baby legs and let me tell you Elijah has a made case of cankles! 

And since the weather has been unusually nice, my wonderful husband decided we needed to clean the windows. Thankfully we have 4 little hands that love to help.

We have some mighty fine window washers in this house, Josh included!

The flight of a bubble

There is something so beautiful about a bubble. Perhaps it's the colors projected on it's delicate surface or how quickly it's formed with a simple breath. Maybe it's the way it floats though the air following a path that is unseen with the human eye or maybe the gentle noise it makes when it finally finds a resting place and pops. It' seems like every child loves bubbles, mine included. 

 

And I LOVE watching their face as the tiny bubbles float away. The Easter Bunny found this awesome bubble machine this year and it is the single best gift my children have EVER received from any fictional holiday character. I decided to allow them to play with it in the house (perhaps the soap will clean my carpets?? why the heck not! ) and now this small bucket of fun has been added to out daily routine. The other day while I was watching the boys squeal with delight as bubbles filled the room, I began to cry. They joy in the hearts, the smiles on their faces were enough to send my mommy emotions on a rocket right out of my heart. I sobbed like a fool, I laughed with tears streaming down my cheeks and my soul was overflowing with love.

...we all can learn a lot from a bubble. 

It's not about where the bubble ends but its the path it takes that is magical. I needed to be reminded of the journey we have taken. The beauty in the pain, the joy in the unknown and the adventure in the trials. If my boys can find pure joy in something as simple as a bubble, then why can't I?

The truth

The truth? I'm struggling. The weather has been beautiful around here and everyone has been out and about. Parks, cook outs, play dates with friends...we have done it all. Typically I have enjoyed the winter send off and the arrival of spring but this year it has been different. Each trip to the park, a chance to compare. Each cook out, a reminder of struggle and each play date a slap in the face. The truth? I have times when I don't want to be around other children. 

I said it and I feel guilty for it. 

Malachi is nearly 4 and still not verbally communicated in a typical way. He can't walk up the stairs, he can't swing alone, he can buckle himself into the car seat and he still struggles with eating. These are just a few of the things I am reminded of each time we are around other kids.

I know I shouldn't compare, but I do. For so long I have managed to steer clear of this road focusing on the long list of positives and brushing the negative aside to worry about another day. Well, I think that day is finally here and it sucks. It's like the black hole, once you are in it seems nearly impossible to get out.

Oh yeah and the real kicker? I get to multiply these feelings by 2. 

So what do I do? How do I get out of this place? I don't have the answer for you, not sure if I ever will. What I do know is that my children are beautiful and perfect. They are happy, active and joyful little men who light up the room when they walk in. Yes the have their challenges but we all have our own mountain to climb and we will reach the top in our own time. 

Just another day in paradise

Things here have be going GREAT! Winter is over and we have been experiencing amazingly mild temperatures here in Illinois. The warmth had allowed us to get outside and enjoy the sun which I am extremely grateful for! I attempted my first trip to the park with the boys since Elijah has been walking and the second I put them down they each took off in a different direction. It was some what of a comedy as I am running around trying to corral my children. We lasted about 20 mins. before I was spent. As I was gathering the boys, Elijah decided to throw the biggest temper tantrum, the kid didn't want to leave and did everything possible to get me to leave him there. He has done this a few times since then, little stinker! While at the park another mom asked me if  I was there for my job, as in a nanny. Ha! What is wrong with people? Are white parents not allowed to have black children? I answered no and walked away. I know she was thinking I was a hussy, having 2 toddlers so close in age clearly by different dads. Welcome to my life, it really could be a sitcom!

Malachi is rocking it at school! He is just growing up so quickly! We are excited because we just found out he will be getting an extended school year. 6 more weeks of school will be a HUGE benefit for him and his current teacher will be teaching it!

Elijah has turned into a little boy in the past few weeks. He is independent and stubborn as ever but at the same time he is a little comedian and keeps Josh and I laughing constantly. We are looking forward to seeing him develop strong communication skills this summer. His verbal speech is coming along great. He can now say up, down, I got ya, hi and go. He is truly doing fantastic!

3 years ago

This blog was started 3 years ago to keep our family and friends informed of the latest news. We were just starting our journey to become foster parents. We had no freaking idea the journey we were about to take but we were ready, or so we though. Malachi came into our lives like a flash. For moths we prayed for him while he was fighting for his life in a NICU 2 hours away. We cried, worried, hoped and dreamed for him. What would life be life with a baby and a baby with special needs at that? We were terrified but so ready to hold him and kiss his sweet little cheeks. At our first meeting I fell head over heels in love with him. His little body fit perfectly in my arms, his big brown eyes melted my heart and his sweet hands tugged on my very soul. He was my son and at that very moment I knew that no matter what lay ahead I was going to be by his side every day of his life.

Soon we were able to bring him home and let me tell you the tears that filled my eyes on that drive home were like none I've ever experienced. FINALLY I had my son in the back seat. The son that I prayed for, cried for, hoped for and loved with every fiber of my being was coming home. It's a time I think back to often. No I didn't carry Malachi in my tummy, no I didn't get to bond with him like a newborn does with their mom and no I was not legally allowed to claim him as my son but I knew he was here to stay forever. I trusted that God would make that happen. Malachi has NEVER been anything other than my son, never...not once.

The past 3 years have been full of challenges, struggles and fear's so indescribable but it has also been full of hope, laughter and love. For the past 3 years I have dreamed about what is going to take place tomorrow at 12:15pm. I've played it out in my dreams, I've spoke about it with my husband and close friends and now my dreams are coming true...I'm still in shock.

Tomorrow we are going to adoption court and Malachi will officially become ours. No more home visits, background checks, travel consents, surgery approval from the state. As of tomorrow I am legally him mom and can make every decision for him. I can sign paperwork as him mother. I can change his name at his doctors offices and at school (no, legally his name is not Malachi, well not until tomorrow)...tomorrow makes it official even though I have been his mom always.

My parents, brother and best friends will be joining us in the court room as the judge signs the final paper. Together we will witness the end to a very long journey and together we will celebrate crossing the finish line together! I am so freaking excited!

Tomorrow Malachi will be ours...forever and ever. And that is the most awesome happily ever after I have ever experienced!

Make-A-Wish

A few months ago I was contacted by one of Malachi's old nurses from his pediatricians office. She had left the office for a new opportunity as the director of Stroke at the local hospital. She called asking if she could use Malachi as a case study for a class she was taking which was full of doctors and nurses. I, of course, agreed and began to re-tell the story of Malachi's stroke and subsequent brain surgery in Boston. She wanted to make sure that the others in her class were educated on pediatric stroke and Moyamoya. Well after her perfect presentation one of her colleges suggested she nominate Malachi for a Make-A-Wish. A few days after Christmas we found out that Malachi was approved and wold be able to grant a wish. Well that day is next week. The wish granters will be here to grant any wish Malachi can come up with. Of course Malachi can not express his wish, so we have to do it for him. We have struggled trying to come up with the perfect wish, one that we know Malachi will love. After a few weeks of talking we think we finally have a wish that will be perfect for Malachi and on Tuesday next week we will officially make Malachi's wish! We are so excited for him and know this will be a once in a lifetime experience for him! Can not wait!

23 hour observation...wonderful.

Tomorrow we will be taking Malachi to the children's hospital in Madison, WI. He needs new tubes, his 3rd set, and they will be doing an ABR. While we are anxiously awaiting the results, we are not so excited about the 23 hour post op observation that is now required each time Malachi receives sedation. Yes, you read that right. Due to his "extensive medical history and recent Moyamoya diagnosis he is now required to be observed no less than 23 hours after sedation wears off. " Blah. I KNOW this is for his best interest, I KNOW 23 hours is no big deal in the grand scheme of things and I KNOW relative to what others have to go through its a ridiculous frustration. That being said, I still HATE spending the night in hospitals and I am not looking forward to this one. 

While sulking in my own pitty party, I got a brilliant (if I do say so myself) idea! Since we have spent a fair amount of time at 7 different hospitals I feel I have to review them for the masses. You are welcome. It will be based on our experience only so please don't e-mail me complaining, we all have different opinions and that's okay! Be looking for it in and coming days!

I've got packing, cleaning and laundry to do. Don't be jealous!