Friday, January 1, 2010

I told myself...

It's 2010! Wow, where did 2009 go? It seems like just yesterday we were experiencing our first Christmas with Malachi, followed by heart surgery, then therapy started, and we were consumed by doctor appointments and medications. I dint have time to relax, I didn't dislike how busy we were, but I was frazzled. I am more than excited to welcome 2010, thankful that things with Malachi has slowed down and we can focus on being a family and starting new traditions.

Day one of 2010 is starting differently than I have expected, I am full to the gills of anticipation and excitement as we wait for "the call." I am finding it difficult to focus on anything other than this possible adoption. My mind is going everywhere as I mentally try to prepare for another child and at the same time prepare for a let down. I am excited but at the same time I am sad. I told myself not to get excited. I told myself not to prepare and just leave it up to god. I told myself, just like the other possible adoptions we have come across this past year, that if it's supposed to happen it will. This one is different. I've been looking online at double strollers and trying to figure out which one we will pick. I've been thinking about the nursery and what decor to go with. I went through Malachi's clothing and pulled out all the newborn stuff, just in case. I told myself I wouldn't do this...but Im doing it anyways. I feel like my heart is fully invested in this child and we don't even know if he will be ours. And now, with all our paperwork complete, we wait. Wait for the birth mom to make her decision and waiting is the HARDEST thing. I keep questioning, "were the pictures we sent good ones? Did our letter touch her heart? What about the other families?" We have no clue when she will make her decision. Please, please please continue to pray. Pray for the birth mom who has to make this difficult decision, pray for the baby boy who is in limbo as he waits to be united with his forever family. Pray for all families involved as we wait for the decision and Pray that we accept, humbly, whatever decision is made.

4 comments:

Emily said...

You've got my prayers. Happy New Year to you and your darling family!

Kristin said...

Praying for your miracle #2 in 2010 :)

Lacey said...

This post hit me extra hard as we are going through the same thing. Waiting for them to call and say the baby is ours. We are almost done with the homestudy so the idea that we can get a baby anytime thats done makes me giddy!!

Anderson Family said...

We will add our prayers to the many others. Hoping this sweet boy will find a way to come to your home!